Sunday, February 14, 2010

WDW Trip Report - Day 4

Saturday - Part 1 - Sleeping in...

...until 9:30am. Jill wasn't about to let us sleep in as long as I usually sleep in. Personally, I think it's nice to wake up at the crack of noon on Saturday. Even though we sawed a few extra logs there were still the usual amount of riffraff in the food court. Apparently the dumbest people in our hotel sleep in as well because they were out in full force. We had the usual people trying to figure out the dining plan as well as those who already did and were hoping to sneak less food by the vigilant checkout people. You'd think they'd just accept that maybe somebody doesn't want half the menu for breakfast. I was also introduced to a new type of food court patron. While everybody with even a modicum of common decency would see the line they're at the head of and NOT leave their tray in front of a confused checker while they fill up their mug but this guy decided it was the best thing to do at that moment. Dickhole! This may have also been the morning where Jill saw a grown woman pick her nose and flick the booger but I'm not sure.

I refilled my coffee after breakfast and headed back to the room to sit on my duff for a bit and watch Stacy be obnoxious on TV. I swear I saw her in the food court with some douche bag but I'm pretty sure Disney at least puts her up in a moderate resort.

Jill and decided to wander about our resort and take just a shit load of pictures. I make another failed attempt at taking panoramic photos. I promised to figure it out before our Disneyland trip but I'm sure I won't get around to taking the three minutes needed to learn how.

After much debate we hit up the bowling pin pool because there weren't any kids peeing in that one. It was chilly but quiet. Jill wasn't happy about the lifeguard watching her. I tried to explain that is was his job to watch us and she just happened to be the only person in the pool besides me that didn't weigh more than 300 lbs. I finished doing my fifty laps and we were done. By fifty laps I mean swimming in circles around Jill for thirty minutes. We showered up and grabbed some lunch at a now empty food court before heading to Epcot.

Saturday - Part 2 - I sure do love Spaceship Earth

It was quite nice to take our time going to Epcot. We anticipated large groups of people so we planned to just walk around and soak up the scenery. It looks like Epcot wasn't the place for Brazilians today. Lucky us. We hit up Spaceship Earth because it's right there and that's how we roll. The camera can't seem to get my face right even though it has no trouble getting Jill's. It's not like I'm tanned and she's white. We're both as white as Rush Limbaugh's ass. I think it was because I didn't feel like taking my hat off. Our cartoon's were still hilarious.

Jill let me talk her into doing Mission Space instead of waiting until after dinner. We hit our buttons and had a good time. She agrees that it's not even remotely as horrible as everybody made it out to be. Maybe I can get her to do the ballsy side next time we go. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.

We had a little more time to kill before our "reservation" so we started hitting up the shops in the world showcase. I recall there being a very attractive German broad hocking wine. I can make comments like this because Jill lusts after David Cook and Zachary Quinto. I don't even remember what she looked like. I need to make better use of my wandering eye privileges.

It was finally time for dinner. We were really worried about our meal prospects after the horrendous lunch at Coral Shit er I mean Reef. They seated us really quickly which was already a good sign. Our table was in a good spot since there wasn't a giant aquarium right next to us. We ordered some tea and I got some booze and a weird appetizer from our server who looked like Aladdin. Jill tried my brewat rolls and enjoyed them too. I saw Ghandi walking around and then he came out, played a drum and sang happy birthday to a confused child.

Our food showed up very quickly and the first bites set me at ease as did the belly dancer who came out. She had very nice cans. Jill agreed. She let a bunch of kids come and dance with her. It was so cute it border lined on disgusting. Our meal went off without a hitch until some woman dragged her backpack across our table while squeezing between the tightest possible spot to get to her table. Our annoyance was short lived when I realized she was blind. Should I have let her off the hook? At the very least her husband should have at least helped her through. I saved our beverages from being spilled so I figured very little harm no foul. Service was snappy and dessert rocked. Who knew ice cream, fruit, and honey could be so good. Restaurant Marrakesh will be in our future trips. *Burp*

Saturday - Part 3 - Illuminations

We asked a nice lady where the best place to see Illuminations was. She suggested an area that was full of people by the time we got there. After a brief look we decided to watch them from where I got to see most of them the last time we were there. The real bummer is that we took the long way around. I think it was a shorter walk from Morocco to Norway counter clockwise. Exercise schmexercise. Illuminations was quite good. I'd see it again. The only problem was the Brazilian tour group standing in front of us. Normally we wouldn't really notice them. This group was the exception because along with the flag bearing tour guide they were also wearing bright yellow track suits. I want one. We hit up a few more shops and decided that was it for us. We were full of food and tomorrow is another day.

Thanks for joining me for this little look at our Saturday. Stay tuned for Sunday. It's the day after Saturday. It happens frequently.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

WDW Trip Report - Day 3

Friday - Part 1 - Brazil must be empty today

We decided to try something different for breakfast. We got our beverages then found a nice booth. While Jill made her tea I got my breakfast then she went and got hers. That gives us both enough time to eat and I can finish my coffee before we hit the bus.

We got right on a mostly empty bus which we figured was a good sign. Our hopes were smashed when were greeted by flags and chanting Brazilians. We decided to book it and get a fast pass for Test Track before they got there. No dice. There were a crap load of them at the fast pass machines. We one anyway and headed to the world showcase.

World showcase wasn't open yet so we hung out and enjoyed the quiet. After the rope dropped we shoved our way in front of all the old people and hit up the greatest attraction over there. Maelstrom blew our minds of course and we headed over to Test Track, having forgotten all about tour groups.

About sixty of them hopped into the fast track line which turned it into a fifteen minute wait. It was still better than waiting in the standby line. Great ride. It was just about lunch time so we headed over to the aquatic side of the park which wasn't very popular among the Brazilians. We walked onto Nemo and had a chance to check out the manatees before we ate lunch. We had no idea that the manatees were enjoying a much better lunch than we had in store for us.

Friday - Part 2 - Shit Reef

After waiting about a half hour for our table we got a nice table next to the aquarium. The menu looks mostly appetizing but for some reason I didn't have high hopes. I find it's best to be pessimistic going into a situation so any disappointment doesn't have much of an impact.

We skipped appetizers because we're not fat and went straight into the entree. Jill ordered the Caesar salad and I went for the ever popular New York Strip. I was going to order seafood but the waitress said the NY strip was the most popular menu item which in normal restaurant circles would mean it's the best thing on the menu.

If it was the best thing on the menu I can only imagine what the rest of the menu tastes like. The steak lacked flavor and was easily on par with the steaks at Applebee's. I can chow through just about anything without complaining but not when I'm spending the same money that will buy me one heck of a nice steak back in Nebraska. We would later discover that our rocket scientist waitress punched it in as medium well instead of medium. Idiot. Thankfully the atmosphere made for a pleasant dining experience.

Or so we thought. One of the problems with eating at a place like this is that everybody's kids want to look at the damned aquarium. To do so they need to stand at our table. I did my best to ignore them but one of those little booger eaters decided to use Jill's chair to climb up on the ledge in front of the aquarium. As soon as he started kicking her I yelled at him. After that the kids kept their distance. Lunch was already ruined by the crappy food and our moron of a server. Thankfully the creme brulee was acceptable. I tipped 18% which is lower than we pretty much always tip but I wasn't about to pay her for a job well done. I farted as we left. I felt vindicated as well as relieved.

The tour groups had finally spread out so they could ruin the entire park at the same time so we left the park.

Friday - Part 3 - Hollyweird Studios

Hollywood Studios was pretty crowded too but it wasn't as bad as Epcot. We wandered around and checked out the new stuff. We decided to hit up Rock N Rollercoaster and since it was so good we rode it again. That's all we did there and decided to finish up at Epcot. Crowds be damned.

Friday - Part 4 - Epcot-tacular

We hopped onto Spaceship Earth which is easily our favorite Epcot attraction. Sure Test Track and Maelstrom are the bomb but Spaceship Earth is where it's at. Everybody always asks if we go on Soarin' but I've been riding it for the past 9 years since it's been at Disney's California Adventure since it opened in 2001. It's a great ride but it's just not worth wasting a fast pass or waiting in a long line for it since we can usually walk on when we visit California.

I dragged Jill back to the world showcase because we had never been into the Mexico building. It was pretty swell in there. We went on the Three Cabaleros (sp?) boat ride and had a blast. I love rides.

We made Mission Space our last stop. I figured if it was going to make me sick this would be the time to do it. I picked the pussy side since Jill wanted to know if she could handle it. I'd try the manly side another day. There were plenty of warnings all over the place to scare you out of going but Lt. Dan doesn't scare me. I have no idea what kind of person would get sick on this ride. Piece of cake.

We headed out of the park and there were a butt load of people waiting for the bus. Eventually two buses showed up to take us back to our resort. I'll assume that somebody held something up.

As you can see, day three was a real pant load. Stay tuned for day four.

Monday, February 1, 2010

WDW Trip Report - Day 2

Thursday - Part 1 - Waking up is hard to do.

My alarm goes off but Jill is still in the shower which means she slept in. No biggie. I'll just go back to bed until she fires up the hair dryer. 7 minutes later... WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... So much for that. Thankfully this shower head is at an appropriate height. I'm not tall by any means but I've had to contort myself under many shower heads and it was nice not to have to do that.

Let's talk about the wonders of pants/shorts. I used to scoff at these goofy trousers every time I saw some old German guy sporting them. Scoff no more I say. Read on.

It was little chilly in the morning but hardly what Jill and I have gotten used to over the past couple of months back home. It's stupid how the body gets used to temps. Suddenly I find myself reaching for a sweatshirt to protect me from the frigid 63 degrees. Jill and I headed for the food court clutching our mugs. Memories of my last WDW trip circled my head as I headed for a strange, new food court.

Whiskey, tango, foxtrot. Where did all of these people come from? We made a quick circle then decided on a big breakfast so we hit the line with the biggest breakfast possible. The Bountiful Platter. Negotiating the lines was a breeze for us but from the blank stares on everybody else it became clear that many villages were operating sans idiot that day. We managed to find a table outside and tried to get as many warm bites as possible before the arctic temps rendered our breakfasts cold.

We hit figured most of the riffraff had hit the buses earlier so we shouldn't have to wait too long for our ride to the Magic Kingdom. A fat guy rubbed his belly on my arm as he squeezed by. He made up for it by showcasing his Disney knowledge to his wife who unlike him couldn't read.
Edna: "How do you know this is the Contemporary Resort?
Mort: "Because I can read that sign."

Thursday - Part 2 - The Magic Kingdom
We squeezed past everybody and managed to hit screening before they all arrived. It was very nice to be greeted by an empty park. Last time we were there it was full of people. So far so good. We both loathe Space Mountain at the Magic Kingdom but everybody said that it was much better after the recent renovations. The seats were indeed more comfortable but that simply forced you to let your guard down. There were a few bumps that felt like a punch to the nose. Thankfully there was no wait so we could forget about it for the rest of the day. Next stop, the People Mover. Love it.

Nothing had a line so we figured we'd go on everything. I got an awesome score as per usual. The one at Disneyland was better but the obnoxious amounts of atmosphere in there made it possible to see your laser beam which was neato. We wandered about for a bit and got our picture taken in front of the castle by one of the photopass goons. I told Jill there was no way I would pretend to hold Tinkerbell. We did allow ourselves to be holding balloons. Lame.

Everybody in the park was waiting for Peter Pan's Flight so we hit up Snow White's Scary Adventure instead. I've always had a soft spot for the dark rides. It's no Mr. Toad's but I still enjoy it.

Another empty queue greeted us at the Haunted Mansion. We grabbed a bunch of pictures before going in. We love this version of the Haunted Mansion. There's a lot more going on here than we get at Disneyland. I try not to compare the two parks but in this case I'll make an exception. It could be that Jill and I haven't done Disneyland's Haunted Mansion in a gazillion years. On our last trips it's either been closed or done up for Christmas.

Big Thunder was looking pretty empty so we grabbed a fast pass then went on it. Another ride that beats the Disneyland version. There's only so much a donkey chewing dynamite will do. After the that we hitched a ride on the other train and road it back to the Main Street station.

Remember those pants I mentioned earlier? They're freaking transformers!!! The lower pant legs unzip leaving me with shorts. I know, it's unbelievable. I'm buying another pair. Jill ran off and changed into her shorts. She should have gotten transformer pants like me. Lunch time!

Thursday - Part 3 - What the fuck is this?
Pecos Bill would be feeding us today. I gave Jill a brief history of Pecos Bill and his tall tales. She thought he was some Mexican guy. I got a burger and Jill ordered a "veggie" burger. There were most definitely vegetables in said burger but it was anything but delicious. After I finished mine I took a bite. Note that I said took a bite. I couldn't bring myself to chew it up. I muttered an expletive as I spit it out. Thankfully the apple wedged were damn tasty.

We rounded the corner and did Pirates of the Caribbean. The queue is much better than what what we get at Disneyland though Anaheim usually offers a very short walk to the docks and once you get on there is a whole lot more ride to enjoy. It is hardly the premier attraction in Adventureland though. The Swiss Family Treehouse is easily where it's at though it will now forever be known as the Swiss Army Treehouse thanks to the wife.

I made Jill do Carousel of Progress because we don't have that in California. It's still as crappy as I remember it being. I'd do it again. Every time I'm introduced to new technology I think of that haunting tune. "There's a great big beautiful tomorrow..."

That was obviously the high point of the day but we managed to hit up everything else we wanted to go on. Throw in the People Mover for the fiftieth time, and another spin on our other favorite rides and that's what I call a full day. I'm pretty sure we had to stand up on the bus when we went back. I even managed to throw on my suit and hit the pool for a little bit. Jill put her feet in the water and a fat kid did a cannon ball right in front of her. Bastard. We hit the sheets and that was it for day number two.