WDW Trip Report - Day 5 - Really this time.

Sunday - Part 1 - I got nuthin'

We did our usual morning routine. If you really want to know what we did go and look at either of the Saturday reports.

I know a lot of people like Hollywood Studios but to me it feels like a bit of a chore. It's a lot like Farmville or Pet Society. You just do it because it's there. I just don't feel it. There are some great rides and there are some terrible rides. One of those terrible rides is The Great Movie Ride. What the fuck right? It's a good idea poorly executed... by a firing squad. Every gun was fired but it survived. They try hard to make aspects of it exciting but at less than 1mph you have way to much time to analyze the poor animatronics and deadpan spiel that the depressing tour guide has clearly done too many times. Our tour guide, who we'll call Antoine since I can't remember his name, was gayer than a pink Christmas tree. That was actually the most entertaining aspect about this ride. Sadly he left us halfway through so some mousy broad trying to sound like a Texan mentally counted the seconds until the end of her shift/life. At the end they asked us to exit stage right. This would have been fine except stage right is actually left. It's Florida so I'll forgive them.

Next on the list was the Tram Tour which we actually like. It's about as entertaining as a mime but we still do it because it kills some time and the special effects display with tourists is quite entertaining particularly because nobody wants to do it.

We grabbed some pretzels then headed over to see the stunt show. It's amazing how quickly seven Brazilian tour groups can fill a stadium while your wife uses the bathroom. We got decent seats off to the side and had an incredible laugh when it started raining on a bunch of people. Good times. The show is great and makes me want to drive like a maniac. My car is too big for those kinds of hijinks.

Rock N Rollercoaster was next on the menu. It's nice to see familiar freeway signs and not having to sit in traffic on them. What's a She-daisy?

We were pleased to find some new pathways at the park. Last time we went there was a lot of extra walking because of dead ends. We were also pleased to find Midway Mania which is one of our favorite rides. We got to ride it a bazillion times at California Adventure but for some reason the lines were really long here. Some cock-feature was hacking up a lung in line for this ride. More on that later. Jill and I kick ass at Midway Mania. We know where one of the Easter Eggs are for getting lots of points. Jill is more accurate but I have stronger arms so I win in the points department. I rule. I'm done with this place. Let's go to the Magic Kingdom.

Sunday - Part 2 - Something witty.

When we arrived at the Magic Kingdom the rain started to really come down. It was so heavy that the mic'd people in the parade that was going on said their spiel really fast then high floored it to the backstage area. Jill hung out at the Emporium while I ran back to the locker for our raincoats. As soon as I got back to Jill with our raincoats the rain stopped and didn't return. Fuck. The park really cleared out due to the rain. I'm guessing once everybody got shuttled away it wasn't worth coming back. Their loss.

We hit up the Haunted Mansion first and it was empty Jill had a bit of a head start on me and entered the doom buggy that the attendant told her to go to. I made it there just in time for the safety bar to close on me. These close with a lot more power than the ones at Disneyland close with. Ouch.

After that we slowly walked to Big Thunder Mountain. No lines again. I love this park on rainy days. What better way to finish up Frontier Land than with the Country Bear Jamboree. They tore it out at Disneyland to make room for Pooh. I enjoyed the show. Jill did too.

The Jungle Cruise is always an afterthought for us which is strange because we love the ride. We skipped it the last time we were there and I'm glad we decided to throw it in. The skipper sucked but they do at Disneyland now too. I miss the days when they were allowed to have fun with it. I was really pleased with the unique features and will definitely go on it again.

Why yes, we'll go on the Haunted Mansion again. I managed to make it into the doom buggy this time. We got out in time for the crappy fireworks to finish up and waited for them to let us back into Fantasy Land. Everybody ran like idiots towards their respective rides. Jill and I walked casually and got on Peter Pan without really waiting. We rule.

Since new experiences were what we were all about this time out Philharmagic was next up. It's nice to see Donald get some dedicated action. We'll do it again.

No trip to the Magic Kingdom is complete without a trip on the P-Mover. Rawk!

Jill snapped a butt load of castle photos then we headed back to the hotel for some much needed rest.

Thanks for reading. I love you.

So sue me

I wrote about the same day twice. It was a good day. Get off my back.

WDW Trip Report - Day 4 - Deja Vu

Saturday - Part 1 - Takin' it easy

We slept in a little today but not too much though I would have liked to on account of how lazy I am. We hit the food court a little later thanks to the extra ZZZ's but there was still the usual riffraff lurking about. It was nice not jumping on a bus right after we ate.

We hung out in our room for about as long as we could handle that God awful Stacey promo channel. When schedule allows, Jill and I always like to roam around our hotel and see all that there is to see. We took photos of all the gigantic crap and read the little fun facts about each year that are posted on signs near the lake. We also walked across the bridge to get a closer look at the abandoned hotel on the other side of the lake. It's too bad that they couldn't finish it. I would have liked to stay over there.

Saturday - Part 2 - Stop staring at my wife

We decided that the bowling pin pool would have the least amount of pee in it so we threw on our suits and headed over. The water was pretty cold so I had to pull force Jill down the steps and into four feet of chilly death. We were fine after a few minutes. Jill felt a little uncomfortable since the life guard was keeping an eye on her. It's rough when you're the only skinny person in the pool that isn't a hairy man. Once we were tired of staring at each other and the beached whales reading Daniel Steele books we headed back to our room to shower up.

We had a moderately good lunch at the food court again then we headed off to Epcot which really stole some thunder from Animal Kingdom this time out.

Saturday - Part 3 - No barf bags???

We did hit up Spaceship Earth again. You know you've been on a ride too many times when you start to recognize cast members in a park you visit every other year. After that I talked Jill into doing Mission Space. She was a good sport and hit all of her buttons. Interestingly enough all the barf bags that were there the last time I rode were gone. It didn't stink so I'm guessing somebody stole them. Why didn't I think of that the other night? She didn't find it to be as thrilling as everybody made it out to be either and it will definitely be one a stop on future trips.

There was still time to kill so we took a leisurely stroll through the world showcase and went into every shop except the ones that sell perfume because they stink.

Saturday - Part 4 - Nice cans

Restaurant Marrakesh was our next stop and we were a little concerned after the disaster that was Coral Reef. The friendly staff seated us right away. Not a Brazilian in sight. This might be a good dinner. We ordered some mint tea and I got a boozy drink and the beef brewat rolls. I wasn't expecting cinnamon and beef to go well together but they were incredibly good. Jill even ate some which surprised me. She's become very adventurous with food lately. I saw Ghandi in the kitchen and Jill didn't believe that I did until he came out with a drum and sang a birthday song to a happy little girl.

Our entrees came out in no time and we got to savor the flavors before the entertainment came out. Ghandi, some other guy, and a quite attractive belly dancer. I did more drooling over my dinner but the belly dancer did have a nice set of cans. She brought a bunch of kids out to belly dance with her. It was so adorable I almost threw up my delicious dinner. The number was over quickly and the crisis was averted.

I ordered a dessert of fruit and ice cream that was quite good. While eating it some woman dragged her backpack across our table and almost spilled what was left of my very expensive booze. I wanted to be angry at her but it turns out she was blind. I blame her husband for not helping her through the tight area. Nothing spilled so we ignored the little snafu and got ready to leave. Our waiter looked like Aladdin so we gave him a gigantic tip. Restaurant Marrakesh gets an A+ and will has become pretty much our favorite place to blow some cash.

Saturday - Part 5 - Illooooooosions

We timed our dinner so we could catch Illuminations. We asked a cast member where the best spot to see it was and she directed us to the most popular area to watch it. We should have been more specific when we asked for a good place to watch. We should have asked her where we could watch it without having to stand ass to crotch with the all the mouth breathers we've been smelling for the past four days. We went to the same spot I watched some if the other night. The real bummer was that it would have been a much shorter walk had we not taken the long way around the world showcase. Oh well. I thought the show was very good. I don't think I'll ever watch it again.

The crowds were pretty heavy after the show so we planted ourselves on a bench and watched the mod clear out. We walked through a few more shops then went back to the hotel where we slept and turned our delicious dinner into fat.

I'll try to get the rest of the days done since I know both of my readers are antsy to read the rest.