Tuesday, May 24, 2011

You still here?

I haven't done a blog in awhile. I've been busy with work and the yard drama so I have an excuse. If I wasn't busy there probably wouldn't be a bunch of posts because I usually need something to inspire me to write. I can't just ramble on about the stellar bowl of cereal I had for breakfast. That wouldn't be interesting.

Today's rambling begins with the homeless. Semantics are a funny thing. Homeless basically means without a home but don't they say that home is where the heart is or where you hang your jacket? Would that mean "Crazy" Chuck's shopping cart is his home? Yeah it's mobile so I guess it would be more of an RV or mobile home.

What if Chuck got his hands on a few really nice refrigerator boxes and some duct tape. Chuck now has a two bedroom bungalow. Not really homeless now is he? Should we call them houseless? Not really because a lot of people don't have houses. Apartment dwellers certainly aren't without residence.

No my friends. Chuck is not homeless. He's more of a hobo. Why don't we use this term anymore? It's because it's not friendly but then again neither are they. Transient? Not really. There is no transition and their residence seeking activities are anything but temporary. They're vagrants if we're being kind otherwise they're hobos. Most hobos are settled into their lifestyle so transient doesn't really describe them.

Now Jules is at a pivotal point in his life. He could be described as a transient but without a plan, residence and occupation he, is as Vincent says, a bum. He's actually a hobo. Bums are special and I'll tell you why shortly. Let's look at the criteria for a hobo.

No permanent residence? They have to sleep somewhere like under a bridge or wherever they stash their crap while they're panhandling. That's their residence. Let's remove residence from the equation.
Occupation? Many panhandle but that's not really an occupation. It isn't income unless there's some regularity to it.
Prospects are really the great equalizer. Everybody has potential but without prospects that potential stays in the bottle.

If you don't have any prospects you're a hobo. They have nothing to establish and maintain. When we were young we thought of them as "grouches" but now that we have a broader viewpoint we know that Oscar had a home. It was shitty but it was his. Oscar was a bum. Bums are settled in. They have a place of residence that they've staked a claim to. People look the other way because they're afraid of bums.

Yes, Oscar the grouch was established. If he lived in a pile of trash next to the road the garbage man would have picked it up at some point. The garbage man actually carried him around like a freaking chauffeur. Have you heard him mucking about in his can? Have you see the elephant trunk? He's probably loaded but a little too eccentric for it to show. Nobody fucks with him because he's cranky. If anything, he's the mayor of Sesame Street. That makes a lot of sense but it only tells half the story. The only reason Oscar is able to live the way he does is because he has an enforcer living in the nearby alley. That enforcer is an 8' yellow bird with the mind of a child and yes he's also a bum like Oscar. They get by on handouts and the kindness of others but truly survive by scaring the shit out of everybody. How long can somebody keep this up without law enforcement getting involved? A pretty long time. Big Bird is 41 years old so you do the math.

Stay the fuck out of Big Bird's alley.

Now we've reached the point where I've forgotten the point I was trying to make.
Please spay or neuter your pets.

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