Thursday, February 10, 2011

Knock it off. You'll be fine.

The title is an inside joke but the topic is the sheer madness of some people and their love/hate relationship with things most people happily coexist with. I like to think I don't have a problem with medical quackery and ill-informed crusaders but from time to time they piss me off.

There is something to be said for organic products and holistic products. Organic meats and produce are delicious. Super delicious even. Lemon tea with honey soothes a sore throat. On the flip side industrial meats and produce also taste good and that soothing cup of tea doesn't cure my sore throat. Personally I'll save a buck or two on my slightly less delicious food and spend my savings on medicine that will cure my sore throat.

Some argue that organic meats come from happy animals that wander about and listen to Mozart taste better because there isn't any stress. Perhaps the farmer rubs their ear prior to putting the life ending bolt to the head but that's neither here nor there. I strongly, STRONGLY doubt that a cow is sitting there wishing it was wandering about while listening to Mozart. It doesn't know any better. The hormones make the meat bland and nothing more. If we were processing humans for their meat then that might be the case.

The crazy train doesn't just stop there. It runs right through Holisticville where cinnamon rolls are a cure for diabetes and a chiropractor can fix just about anything. There is science behind the remedies but it's soft science. Cinnamon lowers blood glucose but it's no substitute for your insulin. A chiropractor can reduce stress on joints by extending them which in turn helps you relax. What they don't tell you is that they're addressing the symptoms but not the cause. It's all about restoring flexibility. Take yoga. You'll never need that quack to crack your neck ever again.

The people that subscribe to these practices are the same types of people that believe the odor of a peanut will kill their child. Science has taught us that people are allergic to the proteins in peanuts which are not present in the aroma of said nuts. Still, I can't get peanuts on a plane because Eamon's mom thinks he might smell them. If I try to eat a peanut butter cup she'll try to have me thrown off the plane. Your kid will be fine as long as I can refrain from spitting out my snack on him. High fructose corn syrup is also fine.

Some people claim the placebo effect they get from "natural" remedies is just as effective as the curing properties of modern medicine. The problem is that there is a difference between a perceived effect and an actual effect. Just because you think and feel like you're being cured doesn't necessarily you're being cured. This seems like a logical argument but people are still convinced rubbing a little olive oil on your shoulder then putting a dandelion and a cat turd in a mason jar next to the southeast corner of your house is a cure for the common cold.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. Back to your regularly scheduled program.


  1. Though I don't eat four legged animals, I do think it's nuts that people would think that one would taste better or worse because its organic.

    I loved going to the chiropractor when I did go but I definitely had to help myself in order to see results.

    I have a co-worker that is crazily diabetic and yet she drinks at least 2 huge cokes from McDonalds within 5 hours. She brings water to work but never drinks them. She also chooses to eat cookies and candy bars then wonders why she feels like shit after. BAFFLES me.

  2. Do you eat two legged animals? I've got a soft spot for organic chicken.