No "Ask Graham" this week. The only manly things I did were mow the lawn and grab my wife's ass. I mow the lawn every Wednesday so there's not really anything exciting about it except for the fact that I love it more than anything except maybe my wife.

It's a bit of an illness. I typically look out the upstairs window at my front and back lawn before going downstairs each morning. I usually do the same thing before going to bed at night. I don't come out and say "Good night lawn." but I think it. My favorite part about walking the dog is coming back and admiring it from up the street. I scoff at the crappy lawns my neighbors have. The jack hole next door mows about once a month. He usually waits for it to look like shit for two weeks before he considers doing anything. It gets so damned long that he has to bag it. He has to stop every 5 minutes, kill the engine, loosen up the clippings in the bag, fire it back up and do another 5 minutes. It's annoying.

That's not to say people look at me when I do my lawn. I do two sweeps at opposite angles to make it look awesome from any angle. I switch my pattern every other month so each pattern is done four times. After that I go at a different angle so as to not impact the soil. If it's raining I can take it easy on the watering. This year it's been flipping dry so I have to give the front and back 30 minutes of water every morning if temps hit the 90's otherwise I go every other day.

I also build bird feeders and bird houses.