Monday, January 24, 2011

People are gross

I'm not sure what has happened to society. Either we've always been this way or perhaps we've just never had what we have today. That's an easy explanation but it's far from the truth. People are gross and this is why.


We know what the word means but most people lack even a modicum of the stuff. How does this make them gross? The easiest way to explain this is to look at two things used by them; rental cars and public restrooms.

As soon as people are given free reign on something that doesn't belong to them all bets are off. Their lack of respect for something that somebody else will most definitely be using in the near future is truly incredible. In their own car/restroom they show it the utmost respect. Why? Because it's theirs and any mess will be cleaned by them. When the guy at the Enterprise counter hands over the keys to a Sebring a change occurs.

It's like some evil force has come over them. As soon as they leave the rental lot they immediately stop at McDonald's so they can get a beverage and fries that will both eventually spill after they make their first left hand turn. One, because they make the turn at ten above the speed limit without braking and two, because they decided the dashboard was the superior location for the drink and fries to be placed. Ironically the cup holders will go unused and will survive the ordeal unscathed. Here's where the bathroom/rental car comparison rounds up. After jumping a few curbs and covering 45 miles with the parking brake on they drop off the car and keys pretending that nothing happened. I mention the parking brake use because many people will use the parking brake on a rental while never using the one in their own car. On to the pooper.

Like rental cars, public restrooms have a frightening effect on people. It starts as soon as the door closes. The toilet is optional but if it is used it's used from across the room. I'm of course referring to how men use the restroom. Ladies have to be a little more personal when they destroy a bathroom. They hover, but do so about a foot to the side to ensure they leave a little something extra on the bowl for the next person. It's not a big deal to them because the next person will do the same thing. The circle of life continues. Their attention isn't isolated to the toilet bowl. Things are just as bad at the sink. The soap dispenser must be pumped no less than five times before putting their hand underneath it. Your typical slob will shake off their hands over the counter then use a paper towel to dry off. The spent paper towel joins used toilet paper on the floor because the trash can has been knocked over. If not, they knock it over before washing their hands. The offender walks away from the bathroom like they do the rental car; denying everything.

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