Friday, May 28, 2010


Aw crap, it's Friday. I'm really disappointed.

1. Film remakes
It's easy to say that Hollywood is out of ideas but they're not. There are plenty of great films being made every year that are ignored because they don't fit the mold. They've resorted to this lazy strategy of simply remaking old, popular films in the hopes that they'll be popular. Do they think we won't notice? Certainly not. They HOPE we won't notice and they're method of hiding it is by changing the ethnic background or age group of the cast. Yes, the films make money but not because they're awesome. The stories themselves are completely overshadowed by cheap sight gags, catch phrases, and toilet humor. Thank God some film makers still want Golden Globes bad enough to make good movies.

2. Florida
I like to think I'm moderately well traveled but admittedly there are a lot of places I haven't been that I probably should go. One of the places I have been is Florida. Having grown up in California I ventured out into the world with a somewhat jaded image of life in "foreign" states. I never felt the need to visit Florida. To me it's always been California's sweaty cousin. I've only personally witnessed the Walt Disney World aspect of it but I think the majority of the people visiting are from the area and it paints a very accurate picture. The people who live there don't know it's a cesspool and I think it's because of an inflated feeling of worth not unlike California. It's America's schlong and it will always be that to me.

3. Burger King
I used to like Burger King. When I worked there during my teenage years I actually enjoyed the food for the most part. Lately they've put more money into marketing and less into the food. Don't get me wrong. Breakfast there is still great but after 10:30am it all goes downhill. When people say they're going to Burger King I politely decline in favor of going hungry. The place smells like burnt beef and the food tastes about the same. Don't even get me started on the fries.

4. The Burger King
What the fuck is up with that guy?

5. Country folk that don't know they're not in the country
It's safe to say I live in a pretty white part of the country. There are several cultures out here but in general it's rife with Whitey. I don't mind the obnoxiousness of most Caucasian groups. Rich folks protesting the war, Christian youth group leaders, soccer moms, and even granola crunching hippies are all part of the landscape and don't bug me one but. Most of them are very nice and don't pollute my person space. Then there are the country folk. Truck driving, tobacco spitting, dry humping, camo wearing, lawn littering crackers from the sticks move into neighborhoods near the outskirts of town. Note that I said NEAR. It's like they think it's their personal mission to combat urban sprawl by breaking down the walls of civilization one neighborhood at a time. They buy a tract home then proceed to turn it into their own little place in the woods or at least I assume that's their reason for not mowing their lawn or putting up a fence. They let their dog roam freely like it would on an acreage with little regard for their neighbors. The keep as many vehicles as possible because you never know when one might break. Thankfully they park them in the driveway or on the street though I know some would prefer parking them on their lawn. If they want to live in the country they should get a trailer and move there.

6. Sex and the City
Who do these bitches think they are? There's no end in sight and a third film is almost a given. It will likely be some stupid horse wedding but anybody with half a brain will realize it's simply a Golden Girls prequel. They're way too privileged to be even remotely realistic. The "grounded in reality" version of the show would feature four ladies in their mid twenties. Each would live in a crappy apartment far from where they all hang out and they'd spend all their time banging dudes they think are wealthy but actually live in Jersey and work at a tire shop. I'd pay to see that.


  1. Burger King.... the only thing I enjoy about it is the veggie burger. I do agree about that damn burnt beef smell. It seems to stink up the area nearby (the K-Mart parking lot). All of the fast food in our town is on ONE street. I should take a picture sometime and show you. In about 3/4 of a mile you have Arby's (recently defunct), Burger King, Subway, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Cottage Inn (pizza), Wendy's, Taco Bell, KFC, and Hot N Now. It's ridiculous. The whole street smells like greasy food.

    Sex and the City confuses me too. I don't get it. Women in a mid-life crisis ride camels?

  2. Sex and the City had a horse wedding in the first movie.

    I think that none of the Sex and the city characters are very likable. Least likable is "Carrie." She's the worst. When I do watch the show, I'm always hoping bad things happen to that bitch.

    I like to visit WDW. I like to visit the Florida Keys. I'm sure there are some nice places in Florida. But I do laugh when people from Florida think they are awesome and that they live in some awesome and sophisticated place. The worst are the people who move their solely to be near a theme park. Bizarre.

  3. I just can't do the greasy food anymore. I used to be able to put it away like a man twice my size but now my body rejects it in favor of fresh food.